He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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