I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My life is pants optional.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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