so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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