He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
