some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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