I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
