what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you didnt know i had herpes?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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