I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize