3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
