Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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