I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
