I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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