i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
