she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
