and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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