My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
