I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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