I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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