He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
