You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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