My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I forget how to act sober
Randomize