Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
