All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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