Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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