apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
