Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
