I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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