Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
