Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
