You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize