I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
