Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to make out with him forever
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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