are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You made out with two different species that night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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