Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
