Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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