we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
