I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Rumble strips road head = magical
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
