so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
