just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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