People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize