So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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