we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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