You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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