Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
