sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
