i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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