I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
