He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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