I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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