Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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