I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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