yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
