I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
