dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
