We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
