It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
