i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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