she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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