And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
