Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
